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Ballet-Physio Update

A few supine leg stretches. Feels great to be moving again.

Hope everyone is treating themselves fairly, cause you know, unfair treatment of yourself will likely lead you to a place you don’t want to visit.

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A Happy Ambulance Ending

Usually an ambulance call doesn’t qualify as making my day particularly surprising. But today was different.

Today included an ambulance call. And FIVE bags of IV fluid.

I must’ve really looked like shit too, because the paramedics rushed the first two bags of fluid through by squeezing the bags manually — I suppose my repeatedly passing out three times in front of them, helped inspire said manual squeezing of IV bags.

Anyway, the really exciting thing was that they said they watched the video on POTS that I sent them, and it really helped them understand it more. They also said they had sent it through to several other ambulance stations and the head of Ambulance NSW, and they had said they would probably send the video out to most of the NSW stations.

They asked more questions and said they wanted to learn more.

I felt awesome about this.

Watched my negative become a positive.

Going to email the POTS video to my GP next.

Anyway, I’m posting it again, in case it helps anyone recognise the condition in themselves or in someone else.

POTS Video

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4 Questions to Find Your Calling

I don’t believe callings, dreams or paths need to be big in order to be worthy. Some turn out to be big, but the size of them isn’t what makes them a path or a calling. It is just essentially how they make us feel. 

And I do find that a lot of people are unsatisfied with their life until they start living authentically, or in other words, start doing shit they love. 

I used to think that I needed to make peace with the mundane in my life and that I was stupid for ever wanting more than mundane. I watched people laughing and having a good time in spite of their mundane and felt as though there was something wrong with me for feeling so damn numb within my mundane stuff. 

Reaaaaaally happy that I found a window out of that world of thought ’cause holy crappola that was causing me grief.

My realisation and new way of thinking was (and still is) that it’s not what I thought. 

Those people who I thought were happy with their ‘mundane’? One of two things is going there. Either: 

1) What I percieved to be their mundane isn’t really mundane to them. They love it! It is exactly what fills them up with joy. They ARE on their path, it’s just a different path to mine. 

 or 

2) They’re bullshitting. Not really happy. And covering up their unhappiness with facades of fake ‘we-must-look-like-we-fucking-love-our-perfect-lives’ laughter. 

And either way, that’s okay. My big lesson was that it isn’t me. There’s nothing wrong with me wanting something different. There’s nothing wrong with whatever I want! 

There’s nothing wrong with whatever YOU want! 🙂 

My biggest inspiration that keeps me going in life and dance is my “follow your heart” motto.

‘Cause I just don’t think you can go wrong with that baby. 

This subject of following your heart, finding your path, realising your dream etc. fascinates me. I am intensely drawn to it. 

Why some people do it and others don’t. 

What gets in the way of fulfilling your dream and how to work around those obstacles. 

How to let go of always having to know and plan the way forward and let your path show you the way.

How you even find out what your path is!

I have been reading and watching more and more about this subject recently, just because I am so drawn to it. And I wanted to share these four gems of questions that I really love.

These questions are from Steven Pressfield and Oprah Winfrey — from one of Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul Sunday interviews.

Okay, so these are 4 helpful questions to ask yourself, if you want to know what your calling/path/dream is:

1) What are you more afraid of doing, than anything in the world?

2) What would you do if you knew you were going to die in 3 months?

3) What would you do if fear were not a factor?

4) Did you want to do something when you were a child that you were told you couldn’t or shouldn’t do? 



And here is the video clip from this insightful interview…

http://youtu.be/4Rl0N2W7arw 

I hope this post is helpful to someone, or at the very least, a fun read.

xxx Zoë

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Low Self-Confidence — What's the Point?

Low self-confidence. What’s the point?

I’ve struggled with low self-confidence a lot in my life. Crushingly low at times. It seems to have been one of the big lessons I have had to explore on my journey. And it’s a tricky one at that.

An important thing I have learned about low self-confidence is that there’s really no point to it. It doesn’t take you anywhere. It doesn’t help you grow or feel good about yourself.

It usually immobilizes you, stopping you from moving forward in the direction you want to go by creating the “I can’t” internal dialog.

And the irony is that you NEED to be saying “I can” in order to move forward.

You don’t need to know what you’re doing all the time. But you DO need to be able to move forward. You need to be unlocked and free to have a go.

Be confident that you can learn. You can step forward.

You can.

Low self-confidence gets in the way of that forward movement. It has no productive purpose. There is no point to it.

None. Nada. Zip.

So let it go.

Let. It. Go

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Meet Lorry!

Hello everyone! I’m happy to finally be presenting to you, the ballet enthusiast and student, Lorry aka @Bead_109 over on Twitter.

Lorry Perez

Let’s hear about Lorry’s experience…

Why did you start ballet classes as an adult?

I never thought much about dancing as a child. I wasn’t a natural mover and I was sickly, so I was the antithesis of athletic. As a young adult, I discovered ballet through the music; classical music was the soundtrack of my life. I fell in love with ballet – not all dance – pretty much just classical ballet. I attended a dance gala in 2011 and experienced a performance by dancers Patrick de Bana and Dimo Kirilov. They danced a contemporary piece choreographed by Patrick called Creatures. It was life changing, truly life changing. I was inspired, ignited, to find my own way of moving, my own music, my own dance, and so I begin to look for adult ballet classes. Even though it was a contemporary piece that started me on the journey, the dance was founded in classical ballet and it is still my true love.

What do you love most about ballet classes?

I love everything about ballet class. I love that classes are challenging both for my body and my mind. I love that we work to beautiful music. I love ballet class wear – pointe shoes, leg warmers, leotards, flowing skirts. I love the technical aspect of barre work and the freedom of center work. I love that when I walk out of ballet class, sweated through and sore, my entire being is happy.

Has ballet had a big effect on your life? If yes, in what way?

Ballet has completely changed my life. That sounds like a outrageous statement but it is completely true. Ballet has made me more aware of myself and helped me to find my self-worth. Ballet has made me more social and brought me the most wonderful friendships. Ballet has opened doors for me that I never imagined – I’ve travelled, met amazing people, and experienced soul moving art and artists.

When I go to ballet class, everything is better. I eat better, I stay hydrated, I stretch and go to the gym willingly, I deal with stress, I sleep well, I’m more optimistic and active.

Day to day and over the past three years, ballet has positively impacted everything in my life.

What has your experience of adult ballet teachers been?

      • Have they been understanding/gentle/positive/encouraging etc?
      • Or have they been harsh (in a mean way)/negative/discouraging?
      • Perhaps you’ve experienced different types of teachers?

I ran into a bunch of really bad teachers when I first started looking into classes – when I say bad I mean teachers that didn’t really want to be teaching beginning adult students, who didn’t see the value in teaching ballet to adults, and who couldn’t be bothered to care about adult students.

Then I was fortunate enough to find a wonderful teacher who was encouraging, devoted to beginning adults students, and who enjoys teaching beginning adults. Since then I’ve found many other teachers who see the value of teaching ballet to adults and who take the process seriously enough to teach true classical ballet to adult students with passion.

Is there anything you would like adult ballet teachers to do more or less of?

I love teachers who are strict about the technique, who set a high bar(re) and help students reach it. I enjoy lots and lots of corrections and I love to be challenged. I love it when teachers use great music and help me understand the musicality and the actual movement within the music.

More classes, more dancing, more work, more going to see ballet, more, more, more!!

Most embarrassing ballet class moment?

Well, let’s just say… never wear a light colored cotton leotard on a very hot and sweaty day; if you fall on your face during an across the floor exercise, get out of the way so that you don’t become ballet road kill; and, if you wear socks during barre, you have to be careful that you don’t slide into mirror and leave a big sweat mark on it with your face.

If you could see any ballet anywhere in the world, which ballet would you see and where would you see it?

I’ve been so very fortunate to be able to travel to see some incredible ballet in some amazing places – New York, Paris, London, Tokyo, and most recently Shanghai. I hope that I will be able to continue to travel and enjoy art around the world. On my wish list – Russia and Australia.

If you could be taught by any teacher, either alive today or from the past, who would it be and why?

I would love to have the opportunity to train with any of the great dancers who are now teachers and coaches from the Paris Opera Ballet. The French school is one that I admire so much – the elegance, the clean, gorgeous technique – I love it. Isabelle Guerin, Elisabeth Platel, Monique Loudieres, or Elisabeth Maurin would be fabulous!!

If you could dance a pas de deux with anyone in the world, who would it be and why?

My dream partner is Manuel Legris. I would also die to learn Creatures and to dance it with Patrick de Bana. Manuel Legris is a perfect example of the most beautiful danseur noble – quick, light, elegant, perfect technique, and caring, lovely partnering. And he’s adorable. I love Patrick de Bana’s choreography. It’s instinctual and visceral but also intelligent and profound. His work is filled with soul and meaning; he knows how to work not just with mime and story but with meaning and symbolism. He’s also a beautiful, lanky dancer – arms and legs that just float up for miles. Add in the hoop earrings and the big tribal tats, and this man is walking art.

Have you received either negative judgement or positive support about starting ballet as an adult? How did the positive support make you feel? And how did you deal with the negative stuff?

In my “normal” world, not many of my friends are ballet people. They aren’t really negative about my passion for my ballet but they aren’t positive about it either, they don’t understand it. My new ballet friends, both virtual and from my classes, are wonderful – they “get” my passion for ballet. I’m fortunate that my most important relationship, my husband, supports my new love. He isn’t a ballet fan but he will attend occasionally and he enjoys the travel part but most of all, he sees and appreciates the fact that ballet has been good for me. Ballet makes me a better me and anyone who knows me and cares about me, appreciates that and supports me and that’s what counts.

Thank you so much, Lorry! I loved your responses, your insight into the adult ballet world and your inspiration to follow your heart.

xxx Bush

 

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The 2014 Wrap — A Pretty Amazing Year, Really!

2014, what a hurricane of a year! Feels like I have swirled from pillar to post in one of the most tumultuous years of my life.

I remember feeling, on several occasions, that I wouldn’t be able to continue ballet. Either for health reasons or just because of my isolation.

But I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere. And I have gained some clarity around my ballet journey and health issues that I know will help me continue to follow my heart.

After all, following my heart is what this whole journey has been about. Following my heart is the thing that interests me the most. It’s such a mind-blowingly powerful thing when you feel it.

I remember on one of my trips to Studio Tibor in Sydney this year, I had a moment where I looked around and felt my heart radiating with joy. And I thought about how I had followed my heart here, to this moment, and how perfectly alive, in-sync, and at home I felt.

It staggered me to think that my heart knew exactly what I wanted, before my mind or body did — and they were just catching up.

In preparation for this 2014 wrap post I have collected photos from my year, and I have to say, it has been a most uplifting experience.

This year was really scary sometimes. Like REALLY scary. And those scary times kind of linger in the background and can make it difficult to move on.

But move on we must.

And moving on I am.

So, let’s have a little looksee back at 2014 (or at least some of it) …

The first thing I did in 2014, like within the first week of 2014, was to meet Tibor Horvath in person for the first time — AND have my first lesson from him.

It was a private lesson in his big beautiful studio, chandeliers and all. It was incredible!

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It was a great start to the year.

There’s a line in the movie Annie about it being a bitter sweet thing to get a taste of something you can’t get any more of. And I felt exactly that bitter sweetness after that first lesson.

As we hit the road for home, I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest more and more as every kilometer passed. I had now had a taste of Studio Tibor life — and I didn’t want to leave it.

As we drove, I cried silently, and nursed my aching heart with the promise that I would return to that glorious studio again.

And I did. 🙂

The following month I jumped on a plane…

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… and flew to Sydney for a class and a private with Tibor. It was glorious again.

A few months of health issues made my ballet journey a bit up and down.

Then in August I flew back down again. This time I had a private with Tibor and took my first class with Vadym. I loved, loved, loved that day! Amazing!

10613034_289293094591349_8669965332334805771_nAnd I was determined enough to get my derriere back down again in September. I did the same private with Tibor and class with Vadym. This combination was proving to be absolutely amazing for me and my ballet. It’s the most heavenly combo ever! 🙂

The beautiful Tibor. Ballet, in every manifest, flows through this guy’s veins. He walks into the room and you go, “Oh, ballet just arrived.”

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The beautiful Tricia. This lady is one of my adult ballet inspirations. She’s so beautiful to watch that sometimes when we’re in a class together I want to stop what I’m doing and just watch her dance. She has the attitude that Tibor wants me to have. And I can see why.

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Snapshot 1 (28-12-2014 11-25 AM)

Snapshot 2 (28-12-2014 11-29 AM)

I was weaker during this trip. I wasn’t fully aware at the time, but in hindsight we know that my body was going down a little, and it affected my physical ability during this session and Vadym’s class afterwards. I was shakier, and my leg muscles were just collapsing.

BUT it was still a beautiful day. One of the best actually. Funny how that happens.

I got meself my first pair of point shoes!

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And then I got my second pair…

zoe

I kicked up my toes with some celebratory ballet at the river…

10685592_299268130260512_3872335899897530088_nFell in love with these…

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Built a mini studio in the bedroom.

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Made up some new moves…

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Started getting my strength back…

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And became Giselle…

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Wowsers! Turns out I did a whole bunch of awesome stuff this year! I really made stuff happen.

I achieved things I never would have thought possible before.

I challenged my self-beliefs.

I followed my heart, in spite of the fear.

And I felt the magic moment of arrival. The moment you arrive at your heart’s destination. Bathing in it. Soaking it up.

Following my heart was my favourite part of this year. I really just went for it.

This coming 2015 I hope to continue going for it, but I will be aiming for more consistency.

I will be following my heart, but remaining aware of what my body and mind need in order to keep following my heart.

2015 will be full of heart-following, loving, dancing, Studio Tibor, QLD Ballet, my beautiful little family, travelling, writing, dreaming, studio building, laughing with friends and body maintenance.

I wish everyone a wonderful end to 2014 and happy, glowing dreams of contentment and good moments for 2015.

Thanks for being part of my 2014 ride!

Bush xxx

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A Broken Heart? I Find Out Tomorrow…

Had an appointment with a new doctor yesterday. I left the appointment holding a referral for an urgent echocardiogram in my hand. I may have a broken heart?

The doctor organised it for tomorrow. It will be a 4hr drive each way, and I’m glad it’s being done, but it was not what I was expecting from that appointment at all. Feeling a little shell shocked, really. 

I’m hoping that everything goes well. But I won’t lie, I am very nervous about it. So I’m trying to think of it differently…

Great dancers and dance lovers all dance from the heart, we know this. And I often watch performances and literally feel an energy surge from my heart. So I’m looking forward to seeing my heart, up-close tomorrow, and saying “You and me babe, we get together with dance and have a fucking ball.” 

Loving reading everyone’s posts. You’re all so creative, thoughtful and gorgeous.

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 BB